The only professional-grade simulator designed to track the fiscal impact of 'circling back' while mitigating your boredom in real-time.
Calculate exact burn rates using total team cost or individual role tracking via the Payroll Wizard. Choose your dashboard aesthetic to match your lab.
We get it. You can't let HR see you tracking this. Quick-toggle the UI to disguise the app as a live Spreadsheet or Linux Terminal.
CEO Mode unlocks VS Code, Kanban Board, and System Update disguises.
Every visual theme unlocks a unique mini-game and a specialized tactile fidget tool. Look like you're taking notes. Play like you're on PTO.
Swipe to navigate the spreadsheet. Collect $ to reconcile the budget. Avoid creating a circular reference.
Mindlessly tap the negative red cells to instantly flip them back to positive numbers.
Drag the Control Surface to move your paddle. Intercept the packets to maintain the connection.
Tap the failing red server logs to instantly turn them back to a healthy green.
Observe the sequence of open ports and repeat it exactly to bypass the firewall.
Mindlessly tap the terminal to inject payloads and watch the target's firewall integrity crumble.
Calculate launch angle and payload velocity to hit the enemy AI. Factor in the wind and liquidate their algorithm.
A constant battle of manual frequency matching. Mindlessly drag the drifting sliders back to the baseline to "stabilize the network."
Read the Corporate Burn Rate Satire Blog. We dive deep into macroeconomic mismanagement, the illusion of alignment, and the tragic reality of meetings that could have been emails.
Read our latest quantitative analysis on the macroeconomic impact of "circling back." A highly scientific, definitively-not-satirical whitepaper on the Synergy Deficit.
Download Whitepaper (PDF)Yes. The core functionality—the timer, buzzword bingo, basic chaos engine, and free visual themes—are completely free. The app is fully usable without paying a dime.
CEO Mode is a one-time $2.99 lifetime upgrade that unlocks the Payroll Wizard (mix and match roles), 500-meeting history retention, industry-specific excuses, and all premium themes (Hacker, SCADA, Blueprint, etc.) along with their interactive mini-games.
Yes. Everything is calculated and stored locally on your device. We do not track who you are in meetings with or what they cost. What happens on your phone, stays on your phone.
We use RevenueCat to securely process in-app purchases. To protect your privacy, your purchase is tied to a randomized, anonymous App User ID. We do not link this ID to your personal identity, email, or meeting data.
Yes! You can start the timer, lock your phone, or switch to other apps, and Corporate Burn Rate will continue tracking the financial damage in the background.
Unlock the full corporate toolkit in the mobile app and transform your device into the ultimate fiscal monitoring station.
Calculate exact burn rates by combining different roles and save your custom rosters.
View and generate receipts for the last 500 meetings you ever burned.
Unlock Hacker, Vaporwave, Executive, Blueprint, Bureaucrat & SCADA interactive dashboards.
Access premium full-screen time-wasters like Port Knocking, Scaffold Jumper, and Meeting Sweeper.
Disguise the active tracker as VS Code, a Kanban Board, or a fake System Update.
Edit the dictionary to include the exact buzzwords your specific management chain loves.
Generate unlimited, highly-specific excuses tailored to NetOps, DevOps, PMs, and Public Works.
