Buzzword Bingo
CORPORATE SETTINGS
DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical survival tool for the corporate wasteland. We are not responsible for hurt feelings, you getting fired, or projectors being thrown across the conference room. Keep your chaotic good to yourself and burn responsibly.
Employee Handbook
Standard Operating Procedures
The Math Logic
PER PERSON MODE:
You enter the rate for a single attendee. The app multiplies this by the number of people.
(e.g. 5 people @ $100/hr = $500/hr burn)
TOTAL TEAM MODE:
You enter the combined hourly cost for the entire room. The "People" count is just for records.
(e.g. Total burn locked at $5,000/hr)
PERSISTENCE:
Your headcount, rate, team makeup, and meeting name will not reset just because you stopped the timer. The room configuration stays locked until manually changed.
Stealth Protocols
Use this when a manager walks by. It disguises the timer as a Spreadsheet or Linux Terminal.
PREMIUM STEALTH 🔒:
[CEO MODE ONLY] Unlock VS Code, Kanban Board, and Fake System Update disguises.
HOW TO EXIT:
DOUBLE TAP anywhere on the screen to return to the timer.
Visual Themes
Customize your dashboard in Settings. "Safe for Work" (Light) and "Night Shift" (Dark) are free.
EXECUTIVE THEMES 🔒:
[CEO MODE ONLY] Unlock premium aesthetics including Hacker, Vaporwave, Executive, Blueprint, the soul-crushing Windows 95 beige of Bureaucrat, and SCADA.
Interactive Fidgets
Tap the puzzle piece icon on the dashboard to access a theme-specific mini-game to keep your hands busy during useless syncs.
FREE FIDGETS:
• Safe for Work: Budget Balancer (Fix the ledger)
• Night Shift: Log Scrubber (Resolve terminal errors)
EXECUTIVE FIDGETS 🔒:
[CEO MODE ONLY]
• Hacker: Packet Fuzzing
• Vaporwave: Bandwidth Equalizer
• Executive: Boardroom M&A (Sign & Stamp)
• Blueprint: AutoCAD Eraser
• Bureaucrat: Disk Defragmenter
• SCADA: NOC Alarm Acknowledgment
