Yesterday at 1:00 PM, I was pulled into a mandatory Architecture Review Board. The agenda was to evaluate a new, highly scalableScalableIt barely works for 10 users right now, but we'll worry about that when it crashes at 10,000., containerized automation pipeline designed to back up our Palo Alto firewall configurations.
The burn-rate timer hit $6,100 before we even got to the threat modeling phase.
Here is what actually happened.
We didn't need a highly scalableScalableIt barely works for 10 users right now, but we'll worry about that when it crashes at 10,000., containerized automation pipeline. What we had was a completely bored, deeply rusted-out senior engineer who realized he hadn't put any new buzzwords on his resume in two years.
For the last five years, a simple, ten-line Python script running on a single Linux VM has flawlessly backed up our perimeter configurations every night at midnight. It required zero maintenance. But last month, this engineer decided that a cron job lacked "synergySynergyTwo underperforming departments being mashed together so a VP can justify their annual bonus.." So, he spent three weeks rewriting that simple script into a sprawling, multi-node Kubernetes microservice, complete with its own dedicated CI/CD deployment pipeline.
He didn't do it to help the enterprise. He did it so he could pass a cloud architecture interview next month.
But because he introduced "orchestration" into the environment, the PMO panicked. They immediately triggered a massive governanceGovernanceBureaucratic red tape designed by people who have never touched a CLI, ensuring a five-minute subnet allocation requires three weeks of approvals. review. Twelve senior architects, security analysts, and department heads were forced onto a 90-minute Webex to aggressively debate the blast radius, container security posture, and lifecycle management of a tool that literally just copies and pastes text files.
We didn't modernize our infrastructure yesterday. We spent over six thousand dollars in payroll conducting a formal risk assessment on a bored engineer's resume-building exercise.
Total waste generated: $6,100.
Next time someone proposes a microservices architecture to replace a ten-line Python script, don't argue with them. Just accept the inevitable governanceGovernanceBureaucratic red tape designed by people who have never touched a CLI, ensuring a five-minute subnet allocation requires three weeks of approvals. calendar invites and start the timer.
