Define: "Alignment" in Business
Multi-headcount capital waste
"Nobody knows what's going on. Schedule another meeting to 'align' on the alignment."
Achieving agreement and unified direction between stakeholdersStakeholdersThe 15 people who will complain about the final product but refused to attend the requirements meetings..
What does "Alignment" actually mean?
"Forcing everyone to nod on a Zoom call so no single individual takes the blame when it fails."
"It is critical that we have total alignment across all teams before we launch."
"We scheduled a two-hour sync to ensure alignment, successfully wasting $6,000 in payroll to agree on a spreadsheet format."
By The Chief Waste Officer
18 years in the corporate trenches quantifying waste so you don't have to.
Related Terminology
Tired of hearing this?
Next time someone says "Alignment" in a meeting, track exactly how much company money they just wasted. Play Buzzword Bingo, generate a waste invoice, and stop the bleeding.
