Define: "CMDB" in Business
Multi-headcount capital waste
"Just copy the details from the previous entry and change the IP address. Nobody is actually auditing the physical racks."
A comprehensive database used to store information about hardware and software assets.
What does "CMDB" actually mean?
"A mythological spreadsheet that is fundamentally outdated the second you save it, weaponized by CAB to reject your changes."
"Please ensure all new hardware deployments are properly logged in the CMDB."
"My emergency firewall patch was denied because the CMDB still lists the server as running Windows 2003."
By The Chief Waste Officer
18 years in the corporate trenches quantifying waste so you don't have to.
Related Terminology
Tired of hearing this?
Next time someone says "CMDB" in a meeting, track exactly how much company money they just wasted. Play Buzzword Bingo, generate a waste invoice, and stop the bleeding.
