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Define: "Key Performance Indicator"
What HR thinks it means:
A measurable value that demonstrates how effectively a company is achieving objectives.
What it actually means:
"A metric designed to measure everything except the actual quality of the work."
Use it in a meeting:
"My primary Key Performance Indicator is how successfully I can appear incredibly busy whenever the Director walks past my desk."
Related Terminology
Tired of hearing this?
Next time someone says "Key Performance Indicator" in a meeting, track exactly how much company money they just wasted. Play Buzzword Bingo, generate a waste invoice, and stop the bleeding.
