Define: "Key Performance Indicator" in Business
Multi-headcount capital waste
"Metrics that mean nothing. Game them to get your bonus."
A measurable value that demonstrates how effectively a company is achieving objectives.
What does "Key Performance Indicator" actually mean?
"A metric designed to measure everything except the actual quality of the work."
"Customer retention is our primary key performance indicator for this fiscal year."
"My primary Key Performance Indicator is how successfully I can appear incredibly busy whenever the Director walks past my desk."
By The Chief Waste Officer
18 years in the corporate trenches quantifying waste so you don't have to.
Related Terminology
Tired of hearing this?
Next time someone says "Key Performance Indicator" in a meeting, track exactly how much company money they just wasted. Play Buzzword Bingo, generate a waste invoice, and stop the bleeding.
