Define: "Telemetry" in Business
High risk of unnecessary meetings
"Set up an alert for when the telemetry stops sending data. That is the only alert that actually matters."
The automated process of collecting data at remote or inaccessible points and transmitting it to receiving equipment for monitoring.
What does "Telemetry" actually mean?
"A firehose of completely unreadable syslog data that eats all your storage space and is only checked after the network has already crashed."
"We are analyzing the user telemetry to improve the platform's user experience."
"We pay ten thousand dollars a month for advanced network telemetry, only to find out about the outage because accounting complained they couldn't reach the printer."
By The Chief Waste Officer
18 years in the corporate trenches quantifying waste so you don't have to.
Related Terminology
Tired of hearing this?
Next time someone says "Telemetry" in a meeting, track exactly how much company money they just wasted. Play Buzzword Bingo, generate a waste invoice, and stop the bleeding.
