Define: "Velocity" in Business
Multi-headcount capital waste
"How fast you are completing story points. Game the system by overestimating everything."
A metric predicting how much work an Agile team can successfully complete.
What does "Velocity" actually mean?
"A made-up number weaponized by management to make developers feel bad about their output."
"Our sprint velocity has increased by 15% since we implemented the new automated testing tools."
"Management is obsessed with increasing sprint velocity, completely oblivious to the fact that the code quality is dropping into the abyss."
By The Chief Waste Officer
18 years in the corporate trenches quantifying waste so you don't have to.
Related Terminology
Tired of hearing this?
Next time someone says "Velocity" in a meeting, track exactly how much company money they just wasted. Play Buzzword Bingo, generate a waste invoice, and stop the bleeding.
